My Morning Routine: What A Single, Perimenopausal, Well-Intentioned Mom Really Does at 5 AM
Mornings are precious. They’re a little window into my soul-scape, into what’s going on more deeply inside me.
Even if the rest of my day is a whirlwind, at least I’ve got my mornings.
There are moments in the morning where you’re between sleep and waking, between those dreams and this one: this is a great time to become aware of how you’re feeling (your “vibration,” as Abraham Hicks calls it).
See, you take how you’re feeling into the whole rest of your day, and whether you’re aware of it or not, it determines the day you’ll have.
Will you feel hopeful? Happy? Grateful?
How well will you handle it when, inevitably, your coffee spills as you’re running out the door, already a few minutes behind?
Will you feel angry? Resentful? Overwhelmed, or worse?
And before you think that I can’t possibly be this positive a person, let me assure you: I’m not. I’m a work in progress. We all are. We just have to keep working on it, on ourselves.
It’s all about practice, really. Choosing, consciously, how you want to feel today, and focusing on that.
Practicing focus, even when it’s tough.
And I’ll be the first to admit: that spilled coffee is a massive opportunity to practice.
So that’s why I take my mornings, and I use them to decide what kind of day I’ll have. Here’s what I do:
I set my alarm early; these days it’s still dark out when it rings, and it will be for a while.
I grab my bedside journal and, by the light of my Android flashlight positioned just right, I write. I might write 2 pages, or 2 words. There are no rules.
I Survey My Landscape
On a 2 page day, I write about my dreams, or about the thoughts that were in my head when I woke up (it’s truly amazing to recognize how slippery the unhappy-making thoughts are! They can sneak right in first thing if we’re not careful). I may need to discharge them, to write them out and let them go.
Or I may need to be honest with myself first: how ridiculous is this, really?! Time to say goodbye!
Or I may realize that I have more work to do, which means a nighttime journaling session is in my future.
No More Unhappy-Making Thoughts
Then, I decide what I no longer want to focus on.
No more unhappy-making thoughts! I write down, specifically, the thoughts that are making me feel not-good, and I promise myself I’ll catch them when they’re in my brain and I’ll redirect.
Think happy thoughts.
More Happy Thoughts!
Then I write down the happy thoughts I want to think. Maybe about my daughter, my family, my cats, or just how grateful I am to be living this life. Something like that.
But it’s gotta make me really feel good. Can’t just be good on paper.
I Pick My Theme
Finally, a word or two: a theme for my day. Because sometimes, in my crowded brain, an affirmation is just too much. I can only hold a word.
And other mornings, the only journaling I get to is those one or two words. But it’s still there, down on paper.
Then, I meditate. A quick 20 minute guided meditation by Dr. Joe Dispenza, a mentor of mine and a man I’d love to enjoy a glass of Tempranillo and some manchego with someday soon.
Meditation seals in my word or two.
Physical Self-Care
Now, water. Lots of water. Water promotes the flow that the writing started.
And finally, I exercise. I like to do the hard stuff first thing in the morning, so I do some strength or sculpt work at home before my daughter wakes up and the morning becomes about her.
All this takes anywhere from 60-120 minutes, depending on whether I hit snooze, or if she wakes up during my exercise, which means lots of pausing to do her morning stuff too.
Your Turn: Your 2 Minute Self-Care Opportunity
It’s hard to find time for ourselves; I know that, and I don’t take anyone’s schedule lightly.
But I’ve had this conversation with patients so many times over the years, because women are worn down and overwhelmed and cannot see any time or space in their day to find even 30 minutes, much less two hours, for themselves.
But I promise you, it’s there.
And most importantly,
You’re worth it.
So even if you start with two minutes for yourself, do it. (They can happen in the morning, or anytime of day you can grab them.)
Now, what will you fill those two minutes with?
Dream big.
Drinking water, or making a cup of something delicious to drink? Meal planning? (I love thinking about food, but if you don’t, scratch this one). Reaching out to someone you love with a quick “no need to respond but I love and appreciate you” text?
Writing down your 2 words?
Writing down something you want, to remind yourself to keep dreaming about it?
Breathing deeply?
Going outside?
Moisturizing your deserving hands?
Seriously, anything. Set an alarm for two minutes, and just sit and see what impulses arise inside you in those two minutes. Then follow them.
This is your time,
And again,
You’re Worth It.
XO,
Dr. Emilie
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